AYOGM Tips
An Honorable person will not lie, cheat or steal even if the opportunity presents itself.
Margery Sinclair is an Etiquette Consultant, On-Air Contributor, Author, Model and has traveled the globe 3 times. Margery may be reached at margerysinclair@gmail.com
"A Year of Good Manners" Etiquette Action Tips (AYOGM)
Following is a sampling of AYOGM Etiquette Action Tips written by Margery Sinclair.
You will want to read all 365 in her book "A Year of Good Manners" by Margery Sinclair
and Jan Polk, $27.95
To Order your copies, please use the Contact Us page. Jan Polk will personally contact
you for ordering, shipping and payment via Pay Pal info. Free shipping on orders over $50
within the contiguous United States.
We would love to hear from you! Do you like the tips? Did you learn something new?
Questions? Please email Jan Polk at ayogm@janpolk.com
"A Year Of Good Manners" is the perfect gift with tips on how to make your own home
a loving, respectful, civilized safe haven. After reading these wonderful tips everday for
a year, you may possibly become charming, confident, well-liked and looking forward to
a brand new year.
We accept Visa or MasterCard via PayPal.
Books will be shipped once payment has been received.
ETIQUETTE ACTION TIPS BY MARGERY SINCLAIR - Common Everyday Courtesies
for home, school, social and business situations. Tips you can start using today!
Jan Polk's GAFC images remind you to treat yourself with respect. Margery Sinclair's AYOGM etiquette
action tips tell you how to treat others with respect and why you would want to. Margery
and Jan provide the following fifteen weeks of tips as a public service message. May you always be
treated with respect.
Thank you for your interest. You will love this unique calendar book and you will want to
hold yourself to a higher standard once you see how easy it is to do so. Our first issue
sold out within three months! Our second issue is now available.
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The following AYOGM/GAFC "Respect and Manners" etiquette action tips appear below:
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Other telephone etiquette, like taking messages, not rattling off your number faster than
t can be written, etc. remain the same for both cell phones and land lines.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"The place for cell phones is where and when you are alone.
If you are in public, find a quiet corner and respect the rights
of others to not have to overhear your call."
Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"...............www.janpolk.com
"Turn off cell phones and beepers, without having to be reminded,
before entering churches, classrooms, restaurants, theaters, movies,
the symphony, ballet, and opera, and anywhere else when the point
is to do something other than talk on the phone."
.............................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
"Don't use your cell phone on an airplane while the safety
information is being presented. Even if it's very familiar to
you, other passengers might be hearing it for the first time.
This is necessary information."
..............................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
.............www.janpolk.com
"True emergencies are rare, but when you learn of one through
your cell phone, explain the circumstances to the other people
around you before excusing yourself."
.....................Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection"..........www.janpolk.com
"When traveling abroad, notice how people use their cell phones
and match their etiquette. Part of being elegant is being aware of
and following local customs. When in Helsinki (home of Nokia),
do as the Finns do."
..................................................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
"Resist the temptation to use a cell phone while driving. It is a
distraction with an accident rate similar to drunk driving. Many
locations already have laws against distracted driving.
Find a safe spot and pull off the road to talk."
...................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
"If you must use your cell phone when on the road,
preprogram the numbers you will call. Don't try to take
notes while driving. When you finish any phone call,
consider if you should follow it up by putting the main
points of the conversation in writing."
..............................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"....www.janpolk.com
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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Gifts are tangible expressions of inner emotions; therefore,
returning a gift could be misinterpreted as rejecting the giver.
The tactful way is to try to exchange it for a different size, color, etc.
..................................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
............www.janpolk.com
"When there is a good, open relationship between two people, it is
easier to return a wrong gift. Thank you notes for these wrong gifts
still emphasize how pleased you were with the giver's thoughtfulness.
When feelings might be hurt, it could be kinder to pretend pleasure."
...............................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
" If you received a gift of money, your thank you note should tell
the giver specifically what you will use the money for. It makes
the giver feel better than wondering if it just went into a general
expenses fund."...............................Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection"................www.janpolk.com
"If you host a birthday or anniversary party and do not want
guests to bring gifts, then don't mention the occasion on the invitation.
Give a party "in honor of" and offer a toast to their anniversary or
birthday or promotion."................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
...............www.janpolk.com
"It's very practical and organized to have a "gift cupboard." You stock
it during the year as you find unusual gifts at good prices during your
travels. Sometimes you buy a gift without having a particular recipient
in mind. Later you will match the gift with the right person and at the
right event."................................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
...................www.janpolk.com
"Re-gifting" means passing on a very nice present previously given
to you. When done thoughtfully, the present is pristine, in its original
packaging, and just what the new recipient wanted. If the present isn't
right for (or needed by) you, it can still make someone else very happy."
.................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection".........www.janpolk.com
"If you re-gift, be sure to keep excellent records. Put a note on the gift
with the original giver's name and the date, so you don't accidentally
give it back to the first person. Re-gifting just to get rid of stuff is
unrefined and boorish."
........................................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
............www.janpolk.com
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Showing Respect tips brought to you by Margery Sinclair.
and www.janpolk.com
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“Dressing appropriately shows good manners. If you wear sports
clothes to a funeral, or fancy clothes to a barbecue, it appears that
you want to distance yourself from others.”
……….....................……..Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
“If you break it, fix it. If you can't fix it, call someone who
can--and pay the bill. If it belongs to someone else, ask
permission. If it doesn't concern you, mind your own business.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection"..........www.janpolk.com
“Ladies don't always go first. A gentleman leads the way to the
dance floor. He also gets into the back seat of a taxi first and slides
across to the far side so the lady can sit down gracefully. He also
descends a narrow staircase first.”
…………......................…..Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
“Standing up shows respect. A host rises for guests and guests rise
for the host. Ladies rise for another lady a generation older than she,
or who is noticeably higher status, like a government or church official.”
……….....................…….Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
“Children should wait until their mother starts eating. Grownups wait
until "the hostess lifts her fork." This avoids having food in your mouth
when someone says, "Shall we pray?" Or asks you to offer the
blessing.”
........................……………..Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"..........www.janpolk.com
“Entertainment at dinner is live, not electronic. Turn off the TV. 'Mute'
is not sufficient because the color and motion are still distracting. The
difference between eating and dining is conversation.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
“Stand up when greeting people and when being introduced. It shows
respect and it makes you look taller. There is still a height advantage in
our society.”
………….................…..Margery Sinclair.
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
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Meeting and Greeting tips brought to you by Margery Sinclair and janpolk.com
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"To develop the art of conversation, stop talking, look at people when
they speak, and listen to what they say. Use a pleasing voice, not loud
and not too soft. Enunciate means to speak clearly."
..............................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
"The correct response to "How do you do?" is "How do you do?"
It's a rhetorical question. But the correct response to "How are you?"
is "Fine, thank you. And you?" Always return the interest."
............................Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection"................www.janpolk.com
"There's a fine line between prying and asking the "interested
question." Answers to personal questions are voluntary. You don't
have to tell everything to everybody."
..............................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
...............www.janpolk.com
"Tell us what you've been doing!" is a limited invitation, not the
beginning of your autobiography. Offer enough information to be
interesting without blatant bragging. Then return the interest by
asking about the other person."
......................................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
...................www.janpolk.com
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
But when you say nothing, people think it's because you have
nothing good to say. So speak up when you are thinking
compliments."
...................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection".............www.janpolk.com
"Asking prices is rude in noncommercial situations and embarrasses
those questioned. But you can confidentially request information:
"You serve such excellent food; would you mind telling me where you
shop?".....................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
"Standing up shows respect. A host rises for guests and guests rise
for the host. Ladies rise for another lady a generation older than she,
or who is noticeably higher status, like a government or church official."
.....................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
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Restaurant Tips brought to you by Margery Sinclair and Janpolk.com
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“Making a reservation at a restaurant is like a contract: the diners
agree to be on time and the restaurant agrees to have a table ready.
Don't be a no-show. Restaurants can't make money on an empty table.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection".................www.janpolk.com
“Restaurant reservations are made in the name of the host, the
person (male or female) who did the inviting and will pay the bill.
Next time you can return the hospitality and be the host.”
………...................…..Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
.................www.janpolk.com
“Ordering from the "Middle of the Menu" means the middle price
range. Ordering the most expensive item could look like taking
advantage of the host; ordering the cheapest implies he can't afford
this restaurant. Best to discuss the menu and ask the host for
recommendations.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
.................www.janpolk.com
“Personal religious beliefs, like partisan politics, should be barred
from the dining table. Don't argue with the people who start this.
Just let the matter drop and talk about something else.”
……….............................……..Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"............www.janpolk.com
“Place the napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. It stays
there until everyone leaves the table. Exception: if you leave briefly,
perhaps to go back to the buffet, place the napkin on your chair seat.”
………..............................……..Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
............www.janpolk.com
“When looking at a formal place setting and trying to determine which
fork to use, work "from the outside in" and take the one farthest from
the plate. Utensils set above the plate are for dessert.”
…………...................................…..Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
..........www.janpolk.com
“When finished eating, place the handles of the knife and fork to the
right side of the plate, at "4 o'clock." This is the "I am finished" position
in the sign language of international dining. Thus the waiter doesn't
have interrupt, saying, "Are you finished?"
……......................................………..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection".................www.janpolk.com
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Table Manners I Tips brought to you by www.janpolk.com and Margery Sinclair
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“When cutting food, remember "Hidden Handles" and keep the
knife and fork handles hidden in your palms, not sticking
straight up. The knife blade and the fork tines become graceful
extensions of your hands.”
.....................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
.............www.janpolk.com
“Eating European style means keeping the fork in your left hand,
after cutting one bite-size piece of food. Eating American style
means switching the fork back and forth, from the left
hand for cutting to the right hand for eating.”
…………...........................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
.................www.janpolk.com
“Salt and pepper should always be passed together--think of them
as a married couple. Don't pass them into another person's hands.
Set them down on the table for the other person to pick up.”
…………....................…..Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"...........www.janpolk.com
“Don't cut up all your meat at once. Parents do that for young
children who are incapable of handling a knife and fork themselves.
If grownups keep the habit, they look like little kids and their
food gets cold faster.”
.....................……………..Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
...........www.janpolk.com
“Posture at the table should be straight but doesn't have to look stiff.
Good posture reflects your self-respect. Slouching conveys a feeling
of low energy and lack of interest in your dining companions.”
…………....................…..Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
...........www.janpolk.com
“Elbows should be off the table while eating; you may rest the
middle of your forearms on the table's edge. Elbows are permitted
on the table between courses, when no food is present, or if the
table is being used as a desk.”
……….....................…………..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection".................www.janpolk.com
“We "break bread" at the table. Don't even try to cut a dinner
roll in half (it gets doughy). Break off a small piece and butter it,
one bite at a time. Pass the breadbasket to the right.”
……………..................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
................www.janpolk.com
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Table Manner II Tips brought to you by www.janpolk.com and
Margery Sinclair
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“Older children, like 8 to 10 year olds, are expected to have table
manners as good as their parents. (Or sometimes better.) Kids have
had many years of observation and parents have
had ample opportunity to teach.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
..................www.janpolk.com
“Refrain from mentioning your dislikes on the menu, and that includes
what is served at home. The more people in the family, the greater the
chance that someone won't like part of the meal.
Be nice.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection".............www.janpolk.com
"Liquids on the right; solid food on the left. Memorize this and you'll
never again eat someone else's salad, bread or creamed vegetable,
or drink someone else's wine.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
.............www.janpolk.com
“The mouth has two main functions: talking and eating. Alternate them.
And cover your mouth at the beginning of a yawn, not just for the
exhalation.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection".
..........www.janpolk.com
“You may politely refuse food by simply saying, "No, thank you."
If the over-eager hostess gives
you some anyway, guess what? She's just wasted her food.”
……….................……..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection".................www.janpolk.com
“When preparing food for yourself, offer to make some for whoever
else is hanging around the
kitchen. It's polite to share food, and you'll look quite selfish if you
keep the popcorn bowl all to yourself.”
…………....................…..Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
................www.janpolk.com
“A person who did not participate in a given meal or snack should not
be expected to clean up the resulting dishes. But if you make a mess,
clean it up. Children clean their own dishes when they
are big enough to reach the kitchen sink.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
....................www.janpolk.com
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Thank You Notes Tips brought to you byMargery Sinclair
and www.janpolk.com
Thank you for your interest. Please use the Contact Us link if you would like to order
"A Year of Good Manners."
Free shipping within the contiguous United States on orders over $50.00.
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“Send handwritten thank you notes for favors, gifts, and hospitality.
So few people do this that you will stand out most favorably. It is the
best way to draw attention to yourself.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
...........www.janpolk.com
“Write thank you notes promptly, within one week. It only has to be
three to five sentences long. You can write more if you like, and then
it is called a thank you letter.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
..................www.janpolk.com
“Brides and grooms get a longer time period to send written
appreciation to guests for wedding presents. The "bridal
exception" is four to six weeks, not one year. They don't have
to spend their honeymoon writing thank you notes.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection".......www.janpolk.com
“Don't start your thank you note with, "Thank you for the..."
That's a grade school formula that makes all thank you notes
sound alike. If you are having trouble getting started, use the
word, "You..."
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection"...................www.janpolk.com
“Write thank you notes that are sincere and specific. Use neat
handwriting and correct spelling. Generosity should be encouraged.
If people feel unappreciated, they will stop doing nice things for you.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
................www.janpolk.com
“Adult males, married or not, are addressed as "Mr." "Master" is for
correspondence and invitations to boys under the age of ten.
Professional titles are not used socially except by medical doctors.
Why?Only because of custom.”
…………….Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
...................www.janpolk.com
“It's not necessary to put your name above the return address
in social correspondence. This is in your handwriting, so you
can maintain your privacy and still recognize who wrote any
returned letters.”
……………..Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
.............www.janpolk.com
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How To Be Charming Tips brought to you by www.janpolk.com and
Margery Sinclair.
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“To develop the art of conversation, stop talking, look at people
when they speak, and listen to what the say. Use a pleasing voice,
not loud and not too soft. Enunciate means to speak clearly.”
……….........................……..Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
.........www.janpolk.com
“Unless otherwise arranged, everyone shows up for family dinners on
time, looking reasonably appetizing,and prepared to make general
conversation. Our family deserves our best efforts. It's a way to practice
being charming.
”……………..Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"...............www.janpolk.com
“The great challenge of etiquette is to be exposed to the bad manners
of others without imitating them. It is less of a challenge to be nice to
people who can do you favors. Graciousness for all.”
…………..........................…..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection"...................www.janpolk.com“Before passing on any gossip, ask yourself two questions: Is it true?
and Is it useful? If people will gossip to you about other people, they
will also gossip about you to other people. Be trustworthy.”
…………...............................…..Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
..............www.janpolk.com
“It’s alright to tell people about embarrassing problems that they are
not likely to notice until it's too late--if the problem is immediately
correctable. This is called the "Spinach Between the Teeth Rule."
Don't point out things that can't be changed.”
…………...............................…..Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
.....................www.janpolk.com
“If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. But when you
say nothing, people think it's because you have nothing good to say.
So speak up when you are thinking compliments.”
…………...............................…..Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
............www.janpolk.com
“Compliment people on their appearance, possessions and
accomplishments. Don't just think about it, do it. When receiving
a compliment, say "Thank you." If that's too brief, say "Why, thank
you so much! It's so kind of you to say so!"
………............................……..Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection".
................www.janpolk.com
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Telephone Etiquette Tips brought to you by www.janpolk.com and
Margery Sinclair.
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“Don't eat, drink, or chew gum when talking on the telephone because
it acts like a microphone. All the chewing and swallowing sounds will
be greatly magnified.”.......Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"
.........www.janpolk.com
“Say "Hello" when answering the phone, and "Good bye" before
hanging up. Use a smiling voice and a pleasant tone. With Call
Waiting, the first caller gets priority.”
.........................…………………Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection".........www.janpolk.com
“The "9 to 9" rule means don't call before 9 a.m. or after 9 p.m.
unless you are sure your call will be welcome. Don't call someone
to the phone by shouting.”
...................................................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
.........www.janpolk.com
“When taking a phone message, write the name and number
legibly. Put the message where it can be easily found. When
leaving your own phone number in a message, say it only as fast
as you can write it.”
............................…………………Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
.........www.janpolk.com
“Call people what they want to be called. Notice the names they
use on formal writing paper, introductions and, especially, their
signatures. Start out more formally, then move to nicknames
and terms of endearment--not the other way around.”
..........................................................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
.........www.janpolk.com
“Use correct titles of respect for women. Miss for girls, Ms. for
adults who want to keep their marital status private. Mrs. is for
married women, with the husband's name because "Mrs." means
"wife of." Divorced women are no longer "Mrs." but a widow retains
the title as long as she wants.”
.............................................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
.........www.janpolk.com
“The correct response to "How do you do?" is "How do you do?"
It's a rhetorical question. But the correct response to "How are you?"
is "Fine, thank you. And you?" Always return the interest.”
..................................................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection".
........www.janpolk.com
===================================================================
GAFC Tips on Business and Sports Etiquette brought to you by
Margery Sinclair
and www.janpolk.com
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"Flirting at work has always been unmannerly. But because
fewer people care about etiquette now, we have to have laws
to make them be polite. If you flirt with someone at a party,
they can't charge you with sexual harassment. Using the same
line in the office, especially with a subordinate, can cost you
your job."
...............................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection".........www.janpolk.com
"The current emphasis on self-esteem in education needs
to be balanced with self-restraint. We can't act on every
impulse and be civilized, and there is a causal relationship
between violence and incivility. Manners need to be
constant, not just for the dinner table."
................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"......www.janpolk.com
"Good manners are the essence of sportsmanship. Players
can still be assertive, but no one should have to put up with
obscenities or embarrassing criticisms. Children should not
have to hear confusing instructions from the coach and then
from parents on the sidelines"
...................... ................................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"..........www.janpolk.com
"True sportsmanship requires you to control your temper. Keep
your mind on the game, not on your feelings. Don't complain
of illness after losing, or criticize the other players. Be a
gracious winner. If you can't take sports with good will,
you should avoid them."........................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
.........................www.janpolk.com
"If you have already learned the job skills, now is a good time
to master the social skills that will take you to the next level.
Etiquette is coach able. It's very sad when someone deserves
a promotion based on work skills, but doesn't get it because
they lack social skills."
................................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
.............www.janpolk.com
"Before you leave the interview, ask when a decision will be
made about the job. If there isn't time to send your note
through the regular mail, use email. Look for reasons to
send thank you notes. They personalize a business
relationship, show your attention to detail, make other
people feel appreciated, and make you look very good."
................................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"...www.janpolk.com
"Stand up when greeting people and when being introduced.
It shows respect and it makes you look taller. There is
still a height advantage in our society."
................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
........www.janpolk.com
=================================================================
GAFC Tips on Invitations brought to you by Margery Sinclair and
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"A good invitation tells the guests everything they need to
know: date, time, place, host's name, and how to respond.
What do hosts most want to know? How many people are
coming. All polite people answer their invitations, and promptly."
............................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
..............................www.janpolk.com
"R.s.v.p. stands for "Repondez, s'il vous plait" in French and is
a very polite way to say "Please respond" in English. "Regrets
only" means you contact the host only if you are not
accepting.".................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from the Great American Flower Collection"
.............www.janpolk.com
"Once you have accepted or declined an invitation, don't
change your mind. Other than a family emergency, the only
acceptable reason to cancel is an invitation from the White
House, which trumps all other social invitations."
.................................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from the Great American Flower Collection"
.................................www.janpolk.com
"When addressing one envelope to two people with different
names, use two lines:
The Reverend Doctor Jennifer Fey
and Mr. Nicholas Fey"
.................................Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from the Great American Flower Collection"..........www.janpolk.com
"When greeting people, eye contact shows you are interested
in them. It also projects confidence. Stand up, smile, look at
their eyes, say your name, and shake hands firmly."
.................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from the Great American Flower Collection"
.......www.janpolk.com
"Call people what they want to be called. Notice the names
they use on formal writing paper, introductions and, especially,
their signatures. Start out more formally, then move to nick-
names and terms of endearment--not the other way around."
..................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from the Great American Flower Collection"
....................................www.janpolk.com
"Shake hands "web to web" (that web of skin between the
thumb and fingers). Extend your right hand vertically, with the
thumb on top. Have a firm handshake, neither a bone
crusher nor a dead fish."
....................................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from the Great American Flower Collection"
.....................................www.janpolk.com
=================================================================
"Respect and Manners" are our common bonds. These tips apply equally to men and
women, all ages, all income levels, all races, all religious and political affiliations. In
other words, they apply to all honorable, civilized, law-abiding citizens.
=================================================================
GAFC Family Etiquette Tips brought to you by Margery Sinclair and
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Children should wait until their mother starts eating. Grownups wait
until "the hostess lifts her fork." This avoids having food in your
mouth when someone says, "Shall we pray?" Or asks you to offer
the blessing."
.................................................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from The Great American Flower Collection."
..................................................www.janpolk.com
“The mouth has two main functions: talking and eating. Alternate
them. And cover your mouth at the beginning of a yawn, not just
for the exhalation.”
.....................................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from The Great American Flower Collection"
.....................................................www.janpolk.com
“When preparing food for yourself, offer to make some for whoever
else is hanging around the kitchen. It's polite to share food, and
you'll look quite selfish if you keep the popcorn bowl all to yourself.”
..................................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from The Great American Flower Collection"
.......................................www.janpolk.com
“A person who did not participate in a given meal or snack should
not be expected to clean up the resulting dishes. But if you make a
mess, clean it up. Children clean their own dishes
when they are big enough to reach the kitchen sink.”
..........................................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from The Great American Flower Collection"
...........................................www.janpolk.com"
“Refrain from mentioning your dislikes on the menu, and that
includes what is served at home. The more people in the family,
the greater the chance that someone won't like part of the meal.
Be nice.” …............…..Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from The Great American Flower Collection."
......................................www.janpolk.com
“Children should not call adults by their first names except by
specific request. Adults, don't sabotage parental lessons in
manners by telling your friends' kids to address you too casually.”
......................................…..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from The Great American Flower Collection.".......www.janpolk.com
“Older children, like 8 to 10 year olds, are expected to have
table manners as good as their parents. (Or sometimes better.)
Kids have had many years of observation and parents have
had ample opportunity to teach.”
………………………………..Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from The Great American Flower Collection.".
..............................................www.janpolk.com
=================================================================
Dining Etiquette for Ladies Tips brought to you by www.janpolk.com and
Margery Sinclair.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“At the dinner table, a lady's purse should be placed on her lap, under
the napkin. If it's a large, daytime purse, it is placed on the floor under
the table. Mind the straps.”
...................................................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from The Great American Flower Collection"
....................................................................www.janpolk.com
“Place the napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. It stays there
until everyone leaves the table. Exception: if you leave briefly,
perhaps to go back to the buffet, place the napkin on your chair.”
(applies to men also)
..................................Margery Sinclair
.Sunflower from The Great American Flower Collection................www.janpolk.com
“When looking at a formal place setting and trying to determine which
fork to use, work "from the outside in" and take the one farthest from
the plate. Utensils set above the plate are for dessert.”
.................................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from The Great American Flower Collection"
.....................................www.janpolk.com
“When cutting food, remember "Hidden Handles" and keep the
knife and fork handles hidden in your palms, not sticking straight
up. The knife blade and the fork tines become graceful extensions
of your hands.”
..............................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from The Great American Flower Collection"
................................www.janpolk.com
“Lipstick should not be reapplied at the table. Like combing hair
and touching up eye shadow, personal grooming should be done
in private.”
.....................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from The Great American Flower Collection"..........www.janpolk.com
"Liquids on the right; solid food on the left. Memorize this and
you'll never again eat someone else's salad, bread or creamed
vegetable, or drink someone else's wine.”
....................................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from The Great American Flower Collection"
.....................................www.janpolk.com
“Standing up shows respect. A host rises for guests and
guests rise for the host. Ladies rise for another lady a
generation older than she, or who is noticeably higher
status, like a government or church official.”
......................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from The Great American Flower Collection"
.......................................www.janpolk.com
==================================================================
Engagement and Wedding Tips brought to you by www.janpolk.com and
Margery Sinclair.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Newly engaged couples get seated next to each other at dinner, but
only because they are so much in love they can't keep their hands off
each other. Married couples are not seated
together because they have already heard each other's stories.”
……………………………..……..Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from The Great American Flower Collection".............www.janpolk.com
"R.s.v.p. stands for "Repondez, s'il vous plait" in French and is a very
polite way to say "Please respond" in English. "Regrets only" means
you contact the host only if you are not accepting.”
......................................Margery Sinclair
"Pink Gladiolus from The Great American Flower Collection"
.......................................www.janpolk.com
“Brides and grooms get a longer time period to send written appreciation
to guests for wedding presents. The "bridal exception" is four to six weeks,
not one year. They don't have to spend their honeymoon writing thank you
notes.”
.......................................Margery Sinclair
"Purple Peony from The Great American Flower Collection".............www.janpolk.com
When addressing one envelope to two people with different names, use
two lines:
The Reverend Doctor Jennifer Fey and
Mr. Nicholas Fey
...............................................Margery Sinclair
"Blue Iris from The Great American Flower Collection"
...............................................www.janpolk.com
“A good invitation tells the guests everything they need to know: date,
time, place,host's name, and how to respond. What do hosts most
want to know? How many people are coming. All polite people answer
their invitations, and promptly."
.............................................................Margery Sinclair
"Yellow Daffodil from The Great American Flower Collection"
...............................................................www.janpolk.com
“Etiquette recognizes only three categories of relationships.
There is married, there is engaged, and everything else is
'just good friends.' Use the identifying phrase when making
introductions.”
.............................................................Margery Sinclair
"Black Rose from The Great American Flower Collection"
.............................................................www.janpolk.com
“Wedding presents are returned to the givers if the marriage doesn't
occur. Once it does, they become joint property. If the marriage ends,
they go to whomever makes the better case for possession.”
..........................................................Margery Sinclair
"Sunflower from The Great American Flower Collection".............www.janpolk.com
=================================================================
If you would like to feature these free tips in your newsletters, newspapers, journals,
magazines, payroll tips, etc., please contact Jan Polk at 859-466-1986 (8-5 est) or via
our Contact Us link. We request that you print the GAFC image in color, include painting
titles and our website (www.janpolk.com) . Permission is
granted to reprint one AYOGM/GAFC Tip of the Day at a time and may not be printed as
a collection. We reserve the rights to print the entire collection at one time. Please let us
hear from you how you are using them.
Thank you for joining with us to make our world a kinder and more civilized world. Social
graces are our common bonds. When you treat yourself with respect, you will find that
others will treat you that way too. We are a nation of self-governed people; it is our civic
duty to behave in a civilized manner.
We invite you to print out the daily tips and post them on your office bulletin boards, home
refrigerators, school libraries, and doctor's office waiting areas once you receive permission
from the doctor.
Or better yet, to securely purchase your copy of "A Year of Good Manners" by
Margery Sinclair and Jan Polk ($27.95),
please use the Contact Us link. Free shipping within the contiguous United States on orders
over $50.00.
If you would like a free 9 page Index for "A Year of Good Manners," please send your email
address to us via the Contact Us link. No purchase necessary.
Sincerely,
Jan Polk
Painter of The Great American Flower Collection
PS Please email this website ....www.ayearofgoodmanners.com.....to your friends and children in order that they may read the daily
AYOGM/GAFC "Respect and Manners" Etiquette Action Tip of the Day by Margery Sinclair:
Margery Sinclair also offers etiquette workshops for men, women and children.
All images (c)2023 Jan Polk
All etiquette tips (c)2023 Margery Sinclair